Interview
With The Devil
(part III)
Q:
You seem to be quite prepared for the future. Without giving away
the surprise, what are your immediate plans?
A: I will do as I always have, that which is required. As 'The
Devil' I have many responsibilities. I have millions of demons to
oversee, and a host of loyal followers to lead. I stay very busy.
Q: I
imagine you do. Any special projects you are working on now?
A: You are persistant. But as I have said, that would be telling.
I will say I am getting ready for my favorite holiday. This year
should be the best yet.
Q: I
assume you mean Halloween. That was the reason for this
interview.
A: No, not really, though I do have a soft spot for all that
ghoulie and ghostie stuff. All those little tikes pretending to
be all sorts of devilish things, sorta gets me right here. You
know what they say 'imitation is the sincerest form of flattery'.
Q:
Halloween is not your favorite holiday?
A: Don't get me wrong, I love it, I enjoy all of the attention.
But it is after all, The Devil's Day. I own it. I could go on
vacation this weekend and you people would do my job for me.
Where is the challenge in that? It was fun back in the Dark Ages:
Witches Sabats in the hidden places, orgies in the moonlight,
terrorizing vilages. Now-a-days the sabat is at the local night
spot, the orgy comes later at someones apartment, and a minor
demon isn't safe floating down the street, he might get mugged.
Not to say we don't enjoy the party. But it's just another mardi
gras for us now. We just jump right in and blend with the crowd.
It is good fellowship, keeps us close to the people. And it is
one night we are welcomed into fellowship in many churches. Many
pretty young christian lasses have met the devil at the local
churches 'youth fright night', or on a 'fall festival' hayride.
Q: If
not Halloween, what is your favorite holiday?
A: Christmas of course.
Q:
Christmas!? How can Christmas be you favorite holiday? It
celebrates the birth of the Lord Jesus.
A: There you go again, throwing names around.
Q:
Sorry, but why Christmas?
A: Hello!!? Do you live in this century. It is the most glorious
time of the year. All the shopping, and stealing, families
fighting, Greed, Lust, Covetiousness; I bet that between December
20th and January 2nd most people break at least five of the big
ten, if not all ten. Did you know that more peaple commit suicide
at Christmas than at any other time?
Q:
Yes, I have heard that. But what about all the giving.
A: You mean the 'hey, look at me, I'm a saint working at the soup
kitchen.' one day a year. Or 'honey, take all that old junk down
to the mission, so I can deduct it on our taxes.' at retail
price. Yea, I do love all that hippocracy.
Q:
But many still celebrate the true meaning.
A: What time machine did you fly in on? Look around. 'It's the
economy stupid'. The only thing 'Christ' in Christmas is the
name, and that is dying out in the name of political correctness.
Santa Clause is the patron saint of the day, and he is about
conspicuous consumption. Eat, Drink, and be Merry; for tomorrow
we die. Give me a generation and December 25th will be another
Mardi Gras; Saint Nick will have pierced nipples, and the manger
will just be a place to pass out after you drink to much.
Happy
Halloween
See you at church.
Satan
(as
interviewed by preacher)